(有人話呢度唔夠女仔寫派對後感 我因應某某人 俾面你寫下啦呵呵😈)
‘A constant discord between the expression of the lips and that of the eyes generates the mystery; it seems as if a duplicitous soul reveals itself’.
In the past, female promiscuity is considered to be an exacerbation for ‘female hysteria’. It is believed that the pursuit of lust prevents one from acting modest. Yet, how is lust still prone to derogatory judgment in the modern century?
I love sex. I always do. The intensive ecstasy created by the intertwinement of beige bodies is like a roaring flame, blazing to points of brilliance, exquisite and insatiability, until the ruins flicker after culmination, lingering on as ashes. Ironically, I have learnt to suppress my boiling urges as I have been brought up in an extremely strict Catholic household.
Alas, the temptation of the forbidden fruit is irresistible. I have finally broken the chains and commenced my lustful expedition this summer. Admittedly, it was an incredible blast to explore my promiscuity at first. Yet, the perils of pleasure are hidden everywhere. I have encountered countless uncivil people, if not dangerous.
In the midst of deceit, vileness and discourtesy, I met one of the admins online, hence being introduced to Butter On Toast. Yes, I will admit that I had serious doubts. However, the admins’ hospitality and mandatory safety measures showed me a glimpse of hope.
Joining BOT has been a huge revelation for me. The hollowness that I was once used to, magically vanishes whenever I spend time with BOT. Once I step into the party, my pseudo name comes into light automatically whilst my weary soul recharges. I could still recall joining my first ever BOT gathering—never have I ever been so nervous, to the point my body helplessly quivers. As I hit the shower, the cascading water droplets brought me back to reality from anxiety. ‘I’m going to be fine, I’m going to be fine.’ Apart from the unbelievably exhilirant fuck sessions, everyone, especially the admins, has shown immense generosity to me. The heartfelt warmth lulls me into sweet reverie, a fantasy where one can reveal vulnerability and genuineness.
I am extremely grateful for my encounters with every single one of you. BOT is a wholesome, edifying, sex positive community that is undeniably worthwhile. Some may say it's a shame that I am leaving Hong Kong very soon, but this is where flaw's beauty takes place. It is the imperfections that become unforgettable, lingering on like flickering, smokey ruins. BOT has restored faith in humanity for me. I correspondingly have faith that I will be back. Soon.
Good girl has gone bad, but she is thankful for the goodness experienced in Butter On Toast.
